rapturerebornmmorpgfandomcom-20200216-history
Humor
Sitemap ---- See Also Finks_experiments and Rejected_Heavy_Hitters ---- Things We might like to see : ''' * Splicers singing in a 'Barbershop Quartet' - Doing what they THINK is harmonizing. * Trained Seaslugs humming tunes ... Some Splicers had 'way too much free time' .... * Stand Up Comic routines - with a reason to repeat most times you see them (and Hecklers who turn into a lynch mob). * Booker getting hit in the face with the shit Elizabeth throws him -- "Hey Booker, Axe, Catch !!!" * Whole lotta Columbia inhabitants who talk in nothing but Star Trek cliche phrases. Dim ideas for the gamez, but amusing vignettes. ---- '''If Johnny Topside returned to Rapture today, would he now come on Delta Airlines ?? ---- Music from the Nether Regions : Splicers playing 'Rock' music - truely alien to the people of Rapture -- more sign of the degeneracy and insanity caused by the ADAM disease.... Someone in the City Intelligence Unit suggested its use for psychological warfare to drive Splicers from a target area so that it might be secured using conventional methods. (There were worries that smart Splicers might easily turn the same tactic around and use it on Citizens). New Rapture's spies have brought back images from 'The Surface' showing sufficient current weirdness to convince most newly sane people that 'the End of the World' is already starting up there. "Rock" music to a Splicer may include banging rocks against their heads (which actually might be less painful than listening to some of the stuff that passes for 'Music' up on the Surface). ---- ---- ---- ---- Sander Cohen's Banjo Concerto : ' Now THATS scary !!! ---- ---- Columbia Knitting Circle Image of "Their' god ... (''Sorry Ken, what you show isn't "Christianity" in any way, no matter what 'Point' you think you are trying to make). The game couldn't be much more peculiar than this Cthulhu thing(and would have actually made more sense). Cute to see the little Founder children holding these as they run for their lives from Booker's mayhem .... ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- 'Sounds from the Lighthouse : ' "If they're so smart, let 'em come up with a Plasmid for cleaning seagull crap offa stonework ..." "You would think that a 200 foot Lighthouse would not be conducive to secrecy." "Hey look, some guy named Jack carved his initials into this bannister" "Gettin to go up to The Surface ain't all its cracked up to be, I'm freezing my ass off ..." "No, no, no. FIRST you close the door and THEN you hit the descend button ..." "I just found a message in a bottle ... who is Ringo ??? " "Hey Skipper, look A Lighthouse!! Lets go tell the Professor, maybe he can figure out where the fuck we are ..." Prophet Elijah - "Oops, wrong Rapture ..." "You think anyone will want these Ryan statues any more ?" "Who the hell keeps leavin' Pepbar wrappers and empty beer bottles up here ???" "Hey Mr Bubbles, that 'sphere ride was fun! Aaaaah, that bright thing is hurting my eyes, Kill It !!, Kill It !!!!" "Huh?? Hey! Where did all those other Lighthouses come from?!!! Phewww, really gotta stop drinkin that Absinthe stuff ..." ---- OOPS, Jack got his Longitude wrong... (Don't blame him, he's only 4 years old). ---- Splicing up cats is not a good idea. And I don't think inserting Cat DNA into humans would be a good idea either, no matter how fast their physiological reflexes could make a human's. Subplots for Infinite BS more interesting than that original game. (Finnegans Island ???) "Today the Pneumo, Tomorrow Rapture!!" (Splicing Cats was a bad idea.) There are many strange things on the internet. (Guesthost while Limecat is on vacation...) There were other alternative to a Giant Pigeon for an 'iconic' nemesis in Columbia .... Infinite universes. With one where Tears start opening up, its a safe bet that eventually VERY bad things start happening. The cliche chase picture by whatever the frick that thing is. 'Run Elizabeth, Run !!! ' Poseidon Brewery's giveaway mug ... (lots artsy people out there the MMORPG can tap into) So they regurgitated the 'conditioning' idea from Bioshock (Little Sister/Big Daddy relationship), passed it through the gut of Infinite BS fantasy and excreted it back into the BaS DLC. The whole overdone 'imprinting' project of Fink's for this Whaterverthehelitwas Songbird idea (it was some kind of game attempt for iconic Big Daddy -- which degenerated into only a cutscene icon, and very little more gameplaywise). (Sad and Funny at the same time). '"We'll be visiting a place where the storyteller's logic fell down, a place built seemingly impossible not to Fail. Unfortunately it is not only a place you visit ... in ... The Twilight Zone." ' Early Protector with bonding designed around Discipline and Threat The moon Rapture would have been a simpler environment to build on (and with alot underground and less pressure differential - like by a factor of 20), except for the transportation issue (launch to Earth orbit and a quarter of a million miles to travel). In an Alternate Dimension, Booker had been a bowler instead of a killer and Columbia (being his dreamscape) could have been built as a giant bowling alley/pinball machine !!! Many strange amusing ideas - something amusing found in Sander Cohens stuff (or a Splicer dream) - though the 'pony' stuff would have to be changed to Rabbits or somesuch because of the copyright issues for the MMORPG. Characters should be bigger than life. (How many strange things can you spot in this picture ??) Some ideas for Splicers were just plain wrong... (but in the MMORPG you can have LOTS of 'out-of-band' content' NOT seen in previous games.) Sad kinda "funny" - With the whole 'Tear' thing SHOWING stuff from the future, instead of Zeppelin stupidity we coulda had neat stuff like '''This ---- Fink never figured out how to recycle ADAM from bodies, but there WAS another way... (Note - this might explain why Sinclair obtained the contract for Rapture's sewage collection and disposal.) Suchong said to get the sample. This was the only sample that Elizabeth could find... ('' "poo-poo" jokes will be fair game in the MMORPG'') ---- ---- Shrodingers OTHER experiment ... DO these people look like they are 'on something'? Its been noted that they are all looking off into a different point in space. Actually quite a pair of bungling meddlers ... I dont know about you, but I think this is one of the most hillariouly stupid things in the game. "Crazy Hood Ornament" was my first thought on seeing it. If we wanted to do crossovers properly ... Fan Artists can do really good art creations (something the MMORPG would count on) So that's what happened to Thomas after Columbia attacked the Isle of Sodor Master Po was very wise ... ---- All those time and interdimensional disturbances brought this investigating - alternate universes can be a bad place for meddlers as Fink would find out. ---- Comstock had worse worries than "The False Shepherd" ---- That interdimensional Quantumz stuff can get weird ... Very Weird ... Hint for the unobservant - what is Hitler drawing ? ---- Things got stranger and stranger... (Red Dwarf ref ...) Brigid needed something as a substitute to handle the severe withdrawal symptoms for the physical and psychological dependence the Little Sisters had had with ADAM. What could she possibly use for that ? One of Fontaine's less mentioned Experiments. (wait one more and they could've had a Quarry Singing Quartet) I guess Atlas had the last "Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk" ... Game might be a bit different in this case... "Sonny, can you help me up this curb..." "I once had a tweety bird, but it died long ago" Idea (never finalized) after the failure of the Robotic Little Sisters to bond with the Big Daddies. A Solution was to make the Little Sisters less vulnerable to ADAM-hungry Splicers. If James Bond could be hooked and picked up off a raft in the Pacific (Dr No, 1959) then something like that MIGHT have gotten Booker to Columbia -- instead of that ridiculous techo-fantasy lighthouse rocket BS. Tenenbaum the Chainsmoker (ADAM therapy for lung cancer ??) (You'd think they could at least have substituted the head Asset?? '') ---- SanderCohenArt << Lots of creepy amusing weird stuff here Funniest (stupidity) of all is that the whole 'multiverse' thing would have been SO EASY to use to explain all the hacked writing weirdness (careless Canon retro changes) we saw in the '''Infinite BS' DLC. Monty Python first aired this very skit at the time of the events of the rebirth of Rapture. Big Daddies had lives too... (In post-Ryan Rapture you dont play for money any more...) " I'll Raise You Three Ryan 123 Beers ..." ' Weird things are seen through "Tears". How many multiverses were DESTROYED because of the Luteces meddling (not really that humorous)?? Imagination of the Users (far beyond the game companies few people) is what is needed in the future of games. What exactly happened to all these 'Tears' when Comstock (allegedly) ceased to exist and the Tear stuff never happened?? Suchong never could have spied on Fink to build his own 'Tear' machine (as ludicrous as that actually is -- You know I just saw an Apple computer in a store last week and have built my own... Hack writers can be so pathetic sometimes). In the MMORPG it really WAS just a bad dream Suchong had after eating some bad clams and having strained McDonagh's plumbing quite a bit ("Who Clean Toilet Now... Not Suchong. Suchong Scientist!!!"). Ryan learned of the intrusion by Fink (in Suchong's report) through the interdimensional 'Tears'. Ryan launched a program to nullify and destroy the Threat. Specially equipt Big Daddies were sent through the Tears with orders to obliterate everything there. Columbia's with its meager technologies didn't have a chance. (So ended a multitude of 'Columbias' across the Interdimensional Continuum - without even that really dim "Let Elizabeth kill you, Daisy..." moment happening). A Big Daddy's nightmare .... Someones 3D printing combining two models. Wait til they invent kineto-plastics for these things. Amusing things are found on the interwebz. But But But it was Columbia which runs on Unicorn Tears... Ryan would try to dissuade Citizens from ADAM use that led to Insanity. (''or maybe a propgandistic hint at what the nuclear shit had done (or might be doing) to the Surface world) Bin Diving and Shooting, Rinse, Repeat ... Funny, but in a VERY sad way. General lack of imagination and just regurgitating the patterns from the previous games (but not done as well). If Piltdown Man was real, '''HE would have been sad about how Infinite BS turned out. Arthur Conan Doyle simply said 'Logic has nothing to do with it, and it shows." Fink destroyed his workers souls by showing them his vacation slides... Imagine this circling a Vox riot and unloading on them with its six Gatling guns and dropping a squad of "Firemen". Seriously with the army of para-military Police we saw, Columbia should have been a locked-down Police State where the Vox would have been exterminated as soon as they "crawled out of the woodwork". (Lame-assed game writers often haven't a clue, eh ?) Paris was ALWAYS a pretty Twisted Place. Watch out Elizabeth, you might get more than you dreamed of going there ... Intimidating the Untermenschen was a primary function of Columbia's 'Police'. Even the Nazis tried to hide their brutality from their general public. (Seriously WHY THE HELL would a cop have this thing in the 'White People' section of the Columbia ?????????????????????????????????? Whats 'funny' is how inept and shallow in understanding the game's writers were. ) Various modern memes can be employed in the new Player Created Assets as long as they arent TOO close a copy (Submissions WOULD be thoroughly vetted for copyright violations) Seriously, who came up with that pathetic looking giant Parakeet/Pigeon in a poorly-made Gimp Suit ??? They shoulda known that tampering with Genetic Engineering would lead to strangeness. Weird things began to happen in Rapture. (Jack might be seen riding around on one of these ... in some Splicers Nightmare maybe...) It is amusing to ridicule fantasy pretending to be science fiction being used for a rather poor AAA computer game (a weird faulty story and semi-fancy terrain doesn't make up for sub-par combat system in a Shooter game). The whole 'Tear' thing also was barely used for player interactions (they chopped/abandoned anything interesting after the 2nd game rewrite of Infinite BS ), and made most into static/contrived things between the 'battle arena' content filler. With Infinite Universes, and Tears now connecting between them, Very Bad things started happening in so many of those Infinite universes ... BAD things happen when the Metaverse starts being strewn/littered with Tears. With Fink's minions using Tears to supply Columbia, unfortunate occurances simply increased in frequency exponentially. Moving cities apparently weren't an original idea ... The Game kinda might have been a bit different (Players motivation ?) if it were "Bring us the dumpy middle aged woman and wipe away your debt !!!" (( Also, Imagine YOU Playing the AGED Comstock, and the Evil Villain being the Booker ... ' " Wait!! *puff* *puff* ... Wait Elizabeth ... *pufff* *puff* ... Stop running ahead so fast ... " ')) ---- Booker's Convenient Fall Through Ceiling (Library Meet) : Floor gives way and he falls 30 feet ... no problem. But In many of the Alternate Universes : 1) Booker breaks his back in the fall and flops around for a while (THE END) 2) The big metal floor plate falls and squashes Elizabeth (well the 'deal' never said 'the Girl' needed to be alive ...) 3) Elizabeth, in fright, throws a heavy book on Ancient Peruvian Textile Patterns and brains Booker -- resulting in his immediate death from a caved-in skull. (She then searches for that book on Anatomical Dissection). 4) That stupid external PERILOUSLY WINDY staircase which Booker runs up - He is blown off and plunges either 200 feet or 12000 feet to his death. 5) Elizabeth is standing there in pancake makeup alongside a human corpse dressed as a large rabbit coated with plaster (she was just adding a smiley face on it in watercolors) .... "Welcome Little Moth !!!" 6) That golden Floor DOESN'T Collapse, and Booker looks through yet another creepy Peepshow Window and decides "He's Had Enough", and decides to leave Columbia, and goes to steal one of those freaky flying things, and sell it somewhere for MORE than enough money to 'Pay his Debts'. We could have a quite 'fun' Contest with imaginative scenes like these, remade for a mini-vignette where you get/work-through all the 'FAILZ' quick endings when you do the wrong thing/option (just pick left/right turn is sufficient - no difficulty once you know the option path). The fun point is TO FIND/SEE ALL THE DIFFERENT AMUSING EVENT VARIATIONS (and the amusing/incredibly stupid possibilities). ---- Rescue in The Tower and Songbrid Is After Them : Elizabeth : " They've been watching me !! Why ? Why did they put me in here ? What Am I ??? " Booker : " You're a genetically warped French Poodle that escaped from a place called Rapture. " Elizabeth : "Oh! No wonder I wanted to go to Paris ..." ---- So that's where they came up with all that !!! It is pretty obvious that the bird/cage thing was SUPPOSED to be more in the Infinite BS game (Some kind of "Player Choice" like you had (Sortof) in the previous BioShock games). Probably, like so many things, Levine f*cked up what they had planned and we only get SAD remnants of what might have been in a MUCH BETTER game. You never quite know what you find on the other side of a 'Tear'. In an Infinite number of parallel universes Fink's minions doing so spelled DOOM for not just Columbia. ---- Audio Diary (to honor L Frank Baum and his imaginations) : Dorothy, Fort Frolic 1960 : "Is this thing On ?? ... Oh what a strange place this is. Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas any more. That strange light and suddenly we're Here ..." Toto : *Woof* Dorothy : "Toto, Those strange people are coming closer. I really don't like the look of them ..." Toto : *Woof* Dorothy : "Oh my, what are they doing ... Please, No! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Toto : (running) Yip yip yip .. *Crunch* Sklonnnnk!! *Silence* Unknown : Heh, heh, heh .... *Click* ---- Biggles ---- A bit more realistic than that 'pinky' stupidity (Seriously what baby EVER holds their hand like that). And a bit more gruesome (but highly likely in far more dimensions). Remember : Infinite Universes ... ---- Sinclair%26deltaWait.jpg Daddy_says1.jpg CatWentThruTear.jpg|alluding to the vapid storyline they fed you in Infinite BS SureIsSoft.jpg|'Compared to What ???' Sack.jpg|The Luteces were NOT particularly specific about HOW Booker should "Bring Them The Girl" ... Letsnowtalkseriouslyaboutconstipation.jpg|Quality of life was a big concern in Rapture --- --- --- --- --- . . . .